


Ghosts

by orphan_account



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Angst, F/M, Unreliable Narrator
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-26
Updated: 2016-03-26
Packaged: 2018-05-29 05:26:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6361264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You can't give me the dreams that are mine anyway,<br/>You're half the world away.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ghosts

Someone’s here, in the room. It’s dark but for the streetlamp pouring through the gap in the curtain. Where am I? Nebraska? Someone is in the room. I pull my gun out from under the pillow in a quick motion, point it for the shadowy figure.

“I’ll shoot you.” I say, I’m proud that my voice is steady.

They don’t move.

“I swear to god I’ll shoot you.” My voice slams around the room. 

“Scully…?”

This isn’t supposed to happen anymore. Hail Mary, full of grace.

“Scully. I’m here.”

Oh my god. No, no, no, no. I reach to the table and flick on the lamp. It floods the room in orange light. Through blurred eyes I see him.

“No, no, no. Leave me alone.” I am scrambling back but I can’t get further than the headboard.

He whispers my name and I think I’ll shoot him just to wake up. 

I can’t look at his eyes. My head is in my hands and the cool gun is across my forehead, pointed at the window. Pray for us sinners.

I hear him approaching and a twisted dying sob comes out of me. Don’t let him touch me. Don’t let him vanish again. Now and at the hour of our death. Amen. 

==

The phone woke me at 4am.

“Sc-“

“Scully, I’m here. Outside.”

I was bleary and filled with dread at the panic in him. 

“What is it?”

“We have to go, they’re coming.”

==

He was on the footpath but he wasn’t moving anymore by the time my feet carried me there. 

“Get up. What are you doing, Mulder?” 

My voice was a whisper. I’d heard the shots, surely not for him. Surely. My hands slipped in the crimson and a car was turning at the end of the street. Mulder’s gun was in the holster and then it was in my hand. 

I ran, still just in socks, after them. Left everything back there on the ground. 

==

Do you know how it is to lose somebody again and again? 

Some nights it happened twice. When I stopped sleeping it happened in the day, even. Always he was there and always he was not again. 

“Scully, come with me.” He held out his hand and when I took it I saw that my own was coated in blood. Hail Mary, Mother of God. I looked at my red hand and when I looked up no one was there. But wait, I wanted to go with him.

==

Why isn’t he speaking? Why isn’t he reaching for me?

I can hear him breathing. It is a ragged and hitched sound. My fingers are cramped around the gun and I drop it, clattering to the floor. I don’t want him to haunt me anymore. I don’t want him to be gone anymore.

Rain starts in the way that it does. Lightly, lightly. Soon it is lashing. Still he is breathing.

If I never look and never touch for as long as it takes then we can die together. 

“Scully.”

“Don’t.” 

“Scully, please.”

I think that he might be crying. Don’t do that. Does he know about his blood being all over me? I won’t look.

“Shh. This is good. We can stay here.” I whisper. I’m smiling, now. I never thought of this before. 

“I’m so sorry.” His weight shifts the bed as he sits. I tuck my knees up under my chin, just in case.  
I don’t know what to say to that so I say nothing. They’d probably come to kill me first but he was outside. I am shivering. 

==

They drove too quickly for me to kill them but I kept running. 

I kept running even after the car disappeared, until I had no idea where to chase. 

I didn’t know if I was running after something or running away.

==

“Scully, please look at me.” The bed creaks as he shifts forward.

“DON’T COME NEAR ME.” I am up on my knees, blindly trying to move further into the headboard.

He’s whispering apologies over the sound of my crying. He’s saying, “I’m not going to disappear, Scully. Is that what you think? I’m here. I’m right here. I’m so sorry.”

“I can’t take it again.” 

“I’m here.”

His arms wrap around me and it feels steady. I’ve really gone mad this time. I can smell him. Maybe I’m dead. I’m dead and it’s warm and it’s strong arms holding me together. My face is tucked into his neck, just like when he was real. 

“You have a pulse.” 

He sobs, quickly. Cut’s it off. 

I move my hands up his back, his neck, into his hair. Oh, I missed him. Dying isn’t so bad after all. His back shakes because he’s crying into my shoulder. We switch you see, we are strong for each other. 

“Don’t cry.”

“Scully, I’m here.”

I open my eyes. My hands are in his hair, soothing. He is wearing grey but that’s wrong. He dies in blue. A sweater. 

He smells like soap and sweat and sunflower seeds. He looks afraid of me, like I could hurt him. He is going to vanish any second.

“I miss you all the time, you know.”  
His eyes close, dark lashes wet with salt and I run a gentle finger over them.

“Did you know that I love you? I never said. Do you get my prayers?”

When I close my eyes we will go together. I sleep against his heart.


End file.
